By Annie Harman
Dating isn’t a new experience; it’s the same experience, over and over and over again.
People have been dating since the beginning of time, and while fashion trends, hairstyles and technology may change, dating rarely does.
I’m not talking the simple logistics of online dating vs. speed dating or calling the next day vs. texting the same night. I’m talking about the actual act of trying to impress someone on a first date to see if there could be any potential for it to grow into more.
During what feels like a job interview, you feel your heart racing and sweat forming. Gosh, I hope I remembered to put on deodorant, you think to yourself. Now you are trying desperately not to be fixated on whether or not you are exuding body odor and trying instead to focus on what exactly your date is currently going on about.
When the date is over and done with, you spend the next two days analyzing every small detail, everything you said, everything your date did or didn’t do. You are certain this is what insanity feels like.
Albert Einstein once defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you ask me, there can’t be anything more insane than dating. The way I see it is: You go on a first date, you enjoy the date, but you don’t enjoy the date enough to put in any real effort in seeing if it will progress.
As far as dating in your mid to late 20s goes, that’s usually where the dating ends: Another first date chalked up as a last one. You never talk again, and if you do, it’s awkward and short.
Now it’s time to repeat, as you are infinitely stuck in the first date loop.
I believe that the problem people like me are facing isn’t an actual problem, though, just a huge frustration.
Once you pass the college-age era of your life, dating may feel a lot more difficult, but essentially it is a lot more effective. At this point in your life, you know who you are, you know what you’re looking for, and you know what you deserve. There’s no more searching for yourself and no more wasting time on someone that you feel in your gut isn’t really the person for you. You are past that stage.
The beauty of it, if you wish to call it that, is everyone else in your dating pool is at that point in their life, too. The games have ended and you’re now coming face to face with people after the same exact thing: something real.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that every fish in the sea is a keeper for you; you’re still going to have to throw out your line a couple of times.
So, if you feel you are in dating purgatory, going on endless first dates and zero second ones, don’t sweat it. You may not realize it at the time, but you’re doing it right.
Annie Harman of Alexandria is a free-spirited writer who believes in dreams, laughing and champagne.